Saturday, December 22, 2007
Saturday, December 15, 2007
The increasingly popular yearly Moon jumping contest on Phobos has left one man immensely wealthy and 1013 people lost in space. This year's edition also saw a maximum amount of contestants, over 25000. It seems more people are willing to risk their lives to become a billionaire overnight. Contest officials say this year people were again very creative making up devices to shoot them up into space ranging from springs, to hydraulic devices to fuel-driven contraptions, in an attempt to bring them as far from Phobos without escaping its gravitational pull. Gargoyle Swenson of Mars Central took the grand prize of a 100 billion Universal Credits this year. 'I am going to move to Earth and party for the rest of my life', was his comment. The contest is one of the few ways to leave Mars and its depressing mining towns. People have to save on average about 5 years to pay for the trip from Mars to Phobos. Phobos was the second extraterrestrial object to be colonized (in 2153) by humans and was used a stepping stone to develop Mars as a colony. Janet Grenache, this year's runner up told our reporter that this was the worst outcome and being asked if she would try again, she said she would never compete again. After this definite statement she left the press and bystanders in awe when she loaded her power spring boots at maximum tension and intentionally disappeared into the voids of outer space. In the Phobos Jumping Contest the winner takes it all.
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Three French citizens have been sentenced to life in prison for attempting to smuggle 60 kilos of goose liver into the
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
In a bizarre incident two child porn cybercops who were both under the assumption that they were meeting with a potential sex offender ended up shooting each other. One was a local cybercop and the other with the Child Porn Task Force of the FBI. Both officers were unaware of each other's investigation. Eyewitnesses stated that both pulled their guns at the same time and both of them showed their badges. Neither officer was willing to put down their weapon. After a long silence one of them twitched and they both opened fire. 'It was just like High Noon', one of the bystanders told our reporter. Both were fatally wounded in the head and died at the scene. Their names have not been released by the local police or the FBI. Spokespersons for both institutions declared the loss of two good law officers an unfortunate incident with no one to blame. This re-opens the debate about a centralized crime investigation database once again.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Sunday, November 25, 2007
The European Union has agreed to redraw the borders of the European Union one last time. Many countries and minority groups have filed requests to change their countries' frontiers after the breakup of
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Honda, the second largest car maker in the world has surprised friends and foes at the 2009 Japan Car Show. They unveiled their newest hybrid called the Honda Morpho. Not only does the car boast a 120 mpg outclassing all of its rivals, but the rather dull looking average mid-size hatchback can morph into a sleek, powerful race car that can compete with
Friday, November 16, 2007
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Garbage Archipelago officially recognized as continent by United Nations - New York, USA, July 19 2043
The United Nations declared the big pile of garbage drifting in the Pacific Ocean, also known as the Pacific Trash Vortex that has seen its population skyrocketing over the last five years, as an official continent. Estimates put the population of the new continent at around 16 million people. The United Nations will probably name the continent themselves after representatives of the drifting islands declined the offer by the UN to put out a vote amongst its inhabitants to officially name the floating mass. One of the representatives stated that the island is an anarcho-chaotic free society and does not want any form of government and related institutions, including voting. The big garbage patch, made out of trash from all the countries that make up the Pacific Rim gathered by currents known as the North Pacific Gyre, was first discovered in the early 1980's. The first inhabitants were spotted in 2010. People are living of fish and the vast undergrowth of marine plants and algae. Water is collected from rainfall. The large increase 5 years ago came after the floating mass was proven to be self-sustainable without requiring the import of any products from outside. Although some worry that the island won't be able to keep up with the population explosion, environmental experts say the continent is still growing at a faster rate than the increase in people, allowing for an even faster growth rate than is taking place right now. The United Nations said it could no longer ignore the growing population of the continent. The overall reaction of its inhabitants is that they don't care about the recognition and don't want any involvement from outside.
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan, competing for viewers for the fifth year in a row may see their battle ending at the end of the season. Lindsay's show "Keep Lindsay Sober" has been seeing a consistent drop in viewers week on week now that Belle Mayers, the current 'Angel' of the show has managed to keep Lindsay out of trouble and away from addictive substances. Lindsay's best ratings were in the middle of last season when she was raped by the then current contestant, who is in prison serving a twelve year sentence. It is rumored that the show will not come back next season, although qualifying rounds of selecting new 'Angels' for the former teen star for next year have already started. "Save Britney's" ratings have skyrocketed since last week when she was caught snorting cocaine out of the belly button of her current 'Guardian', as the contestants are referred to in the NBC version. The guardian also seemed to be under influence of illegal substances. The results of the drug tests will be announced tomorrow. Besides already having been pulled from the show, Britney's 'Guardian' may face criminal charges as well. The stars of the shows themselves are excused from prosecution by large donations made by the respective media companies to drug rehabilitation programs, but the contestants are not. Britney checked into the NBC sponsored rehab center late last night were she will meet the next 'Guardian', a priest from
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Denmark starts importing sewer waste from developing countries for their 'brown' energy supply - Copenhagen, March 30 2012
Thursday, November 1, 2007
President Clinton declares she only became president to get back at her husband – Washington DC, April 20 2010
President Hillary Clinton pleaded guilty today in her long awaited grand jury appearance to allegations that she has seduced a young white house attaché and had sex with him to get back at her husband. More shockingly she even revealed she only became president to get even with her husband. She said she was ready to step down after this grand jury hearing. The jury was in awe and asked if the president thought the highest job in the country was something to settle personal feuds with. The president refused to answer the question stating it had nothing to do with the investigation about, which was allowed. People around the country and worldwide are shocked by the candid confessions. President Clinton also declared getting truly even at her husband would really only work while holding the nation's top job. The country is in disarray and even the GOP hasn't reacted officially and is apparently confused how to respond to this opportunity. Reporters around the country are trying to find the whereabouts of ex-president Bill Clinton, which is unknown at this moment.
Friday, October 26, 2007
30 Percent of Work Force of Child Porn Internet Filter Company KidFriend Are Registered Sex Offenders – San Jose, CA, May 7 2011
KidFriend, well known for their award winning child porn filter software seems to be in a nasty pickle. An investigation by a child abuse victim turned up a bizarre fact. A little less than one in three of its employees is listed as a registered sex offender under Megan's Law. A spokesperson for the company declared the company is not required anymore to ask about the criminal past of new hires and no wrong has been done. He stressed that all their employees are good and law abiding citizens. He admitted the news was embarrassing and possibly even damaging from a PR standpoint, but that it does not affect the integrity of the products they carry. Management will assess the situation and make changes where deemed necessary but for now they claim there is no reason to fire anyone. Connecting the sex offenders on the company's web site with the positions they hold show almost all of them work in the web screening and editorial filtering department.