'Keep Lindsay Sober' down! 'Save Britney' up! – Los Angeles CA, February 2 2011

Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan, competing for viewers for the fifth year in a row may see their battle ending at the end of the season. Lindsay's show "Keep Lindsay Sober" has been seeing a consistent drop in viewers week on week now that Belle Mayers, the current 'Angel' of the show has managed to keep Lindsay out of trouble and away from addictive substances. Lindsay's best ratings were in the middle of last season when she was raped by the then current contestant, who is in prison serving a twelve year sentence. It is rumored that the show will not come back next season, although qualifying rounds of selecting new 'Angels' for the former teen star for next year have already started. "Save Britney's" ratings have skyrocketed since last week when she was caught snorting cocaine out of the belly button of her current 'Guardian', as the contestants are referred to in the NBC version. The guardian also seemed to be under influence of illegal substances. The results of the drug tests will be announced tomorrow. Besides already having been pulled from the show, Britney's 'Guardian' may face criminal charges as well. The stars of the shows themselves are excused from prosecution by large donations made by the respective media companies to drug rehabilitation programs, but the contestants are not. Britney checked into the NBC sponsored rehab center late last night were she will meet the next 'Guardian', a priest from Alabama who is convinced the Lord will help him save this innocent, sweet girl from the temptations of the devil.