Sunday, December 28, 2008

Series of WalMart Bombings Claimed by Barbie Liberation Organization Splinter Group - Houston, TX, April 27 2013

Another explosion ripped through a WalMart store in Houston last night, killing 27 and wounding at least 250. The FBI declared the bombings have been claimed by The Barbie Liberation Organization Now Destructive (BLOND) in an untraceable e-mail with demands to free the imprisoned former leader of The Barbie Liberation Organization (BLO), Barbie Sandrine and make Mattel restart their production of Barbie dolls. BLOND seems to be a splinter group that has separated itself from BLO and has turned to violence to try achieve its goals. BLO leader Barbie Sandrine was imprisoned early this year after throwing shoes at the Iraqi President Muntader al-Zaidi when he visited the US to draw attention to her cause, embarrassing the nation internationally. BLO has been active with non-violent demonstrations and actions since Mattel stopped its production after WalMart declared in 2011 it would no longer carry the famed dolls after studies had showed a direct link between kids who were exposed to the dolls and eating disorders.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

McDonald's "Incredible" Popularity Reveals Rigged Portion Size Scanners - Des Plaines, Ill, November 12 2017

Des Plaines PD have arrested several high ranking managers, including the CEO and CFO and several board members at the corporate headquarters of McDonald's. In an era where most fast-food franchises are struggling and many of them have gone under resulting from the enforced installation of Portion-Size Scanners (PSS) in all fast-food operations by the Meal Size Reduction Act, people have always wondered what the special "ingredient" was that has been maintaining McDonald's growth while others had to downsize or even go belly-up (BK, In-N-Out). The special Nutrition Investigation Task Force (NITF) of the FBI declared to have been leading up to this bust for several months when one of their investigators followed up on a CDC study that showed that regular McDonald's visitors were significantly heavier than control groups (regular KFC, DQ and Jack in the Box visitors). His investigation started pointing to the PSS machines at McDonald's restaurants around the country to explain how people still got fatter after being fully "portionated". A spokesman of NITF stated that the PSS machines, that read how much you can individually be served (calculated by Body Mass Index, blood sugar and fat percentage tracked by a subcutaneous nano-analyzer), showed to have been systematically tempered with at McDonald's to serve more than 25% more than the FDA's allowed portions, thereby explaining the popularity and success of the fast-food chain. Ronald McDonald will have a lot of explaining to do as to why portions will be downsized for their customers.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

US Sits On Top Of Largest Oil Reserve – London, England, May 12 2083

The discovery of a deep-oil reserve in Wyoming last week has been estimated to be the largest oil reserve on the planet. According to oil specialists from OPEC, the reserve is twice the size of the currently known oil reserves worldwide. The White House said it was excited and said it would put the US back on the map as a world power after dropping to the 17th place on the world gross domestic list just behind the Netherlands at the end of 2082. Iranian, Russian and Chinese oil companies are lining up to acquire the lucrative contract to exploit the new black gold reserves. The US will without doubt need outside help from leading oil producing countries to finance and organize this massive oil drilling effort.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Scientist Disappears While Working on Large Hadron Collider at CERN – Geneva, 19 August 2011

One of the team members of the research group that is working with the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) was reported missing in action this morning in a press bulletin issued this morning by the CERN press office in Geneva. Security officials stated that it is impossible that he would have been able to leave the facility without leaving any records: "He should still be in the building, but he isn’t." The researcher was working on the creation of Micro Black Holes and the Higgs Boson (AKA as the "God Particle").

Friday, August 29, 2008

First "Living" Head To Turn One Hundred - Nagasaki, March 7 2233

Samo Nagai's head, or 'Jarhead' as the brain of Samo Nagai has become known as in the media, will celebrate its 100th this coming March 10. The Tokio Eternal Life Company prefers their clients to be called just by their name, claiming that they never died and therefore seeing no reason to refer to them by just one part of their body. The company will celebrate 'Samo Nagai's' 186th birthday (Samo Nagai "died" at age 86) with a large celebration event in Tokio's City Center. The Eternal Life Company boasts to have 1123812 people (or heads, if you like) on extended life support until medical science discovers ways to provide these people with a full functioning body. While the company has been mostly a success story there have been downfalls and controversies as well, amongst them the suicide bomb attempt by the Christian group 'Sacred Life' on one of Eternal Life's laboratories and the unexplained seemingly spontaneous life termination of some of Eternal Life's clients. Critics have demonstrated that statistically more spontaneous 'terminations' have been taking place after the company was forced by a court order to stop ending 'services' for clients that had used up all their credit. Eternal Life's reply has always been that because they have to keep supplying services for non-paying clients it has been harder for them to give an A+ service to all their clients resulting in an increase of service terminations. Critics claim 83 percent of terminations concerned clients that have run out of credit. Brain life support is still gaining popularity over Cryonics as a way to extend people's lives to eventually seek eternal life.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Virtual Serial Rapist Gets Sentenced to Death IRL – Portland, Or, June 17 2042

Virtual serial rapist Nathan Guberman, also known as FluffyBunny on GetALife, the popular virtual world, has been sentenced to death IRL (in real life) by a Portland judge. It is the first time somebody has been sentenced to death for a cybercrime. Victims have declared they are happy with this outcome. Judge Melvin Brookland stated that most of the (7023) victims were spending on average more than 85% in this virtual world and therefore their virtual life was seen as their "dominant" life. Nathan Guberman was spending more than 95% percent of this time on GetALife and his actions on GetALife were concluded to be "real" by psychologists and health specialists and therefore legally valid IRL. It took a federal cyber taskforce more than 14 months to track down and arrest Nathan Guberman. His avatar, FluffyBunny had been sentenced to death and lynched virtually two months after his arrest by GetALife virtual judge Castor Dredd. Guberman declared after the sentence IRL that he was dead already anyway after the lynching of his avatar, killing off his body was just a formality.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Geoengineering Gone Wrong: UN Finally Admits Responsibility – New York, NY, June 25 2028

After months of criticism from environmental groups and nations the Volcanic Winter Experiment has now been officially declared a failure and disaster by the UN environmental commission. 5 years after the UN orchestrated nuclear explosion set off a volcanic eruption of El Chichón in Mexico to spread sulfate aerosols into the stratosphere to cool down the Earth, world-wide famine, a higher rate of global warming than ever before and record size holes in the ozone layer, the UN has finally admitted responsibility for the blunder and for the first time in the planet’s history declared the Earth as a whole a disaster area. More and more countries are breaking with the United Nations trying to cope individually with the economical and environmental effects of the aftermath of this experiment gone bad, including most members of UniAm, China, Russia and several EU countries. Mexico is by far suffering the most from the experiment, having volunteered to host the experiment in the state of Chiapas. The country is not receiving any of the promised compensation for letting the experiment take place on their soil, with the UN bankrupt, world food supplies drained and food shortages increasing rapidly on an apocalyptic scale. Mexico is in total ruins with agricultural lands turning into deserts after not having produced any crops during the volcanic winter years. Mexico City is turning into the first global ghost metropolis after the US Border Fence was overrun by an exodus of millions fleeing the aftermath of the manmade catastrophe in search for food. The UN says it has postponed any planned geoengineering programs until further notice and is working on a global rescue plan to fix the world’s environmental and economic problems that have resulted from this cataclysm. Some scientists criticize the UN’s approach claiming that geoengineering is the only solution to stop this catastrophic downward spiral the Earth is in. Russia is considering unilaterally launching a series of orchestrated nuclear explosions in low population areas to create a long lasting nuclear winter to cool down the planet.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Reversing Tumoring Body Art Causes Cancer – Miami, FL, November 12 2014

Eight months after the Body Art Magazine published concerns over high rates of skin cancer in people trying to reverse the effects of the body modification method known as Tumoring, mulitple studies have conclusively shown that the chemical reversal of this form of body art causes cancer (between 10 and 20 times as much as in the control group). Tumoring has become the latest fad in body modification after Scarification, Tongue Splitting and Skull Implants reached their peak as trends in late 2010. Tumoring, the intended growth of specific parts of the skin with the use of carcinogenic substances that cause benign and controllable growths in the epidermis and gives people the ability to mold parts of their body as desired, was first seen in Miami in early 2010. The method was developed by the famous Miami Ink shop and a cancer clinic and has spread rapidly all around the world. Millions of people around the world walk around with this form of body art and have not seen any medical disadvantages so far. One of the reasons this form of body modification has become so popular, is that is easily reversible by chemical treatment, creating a low threshold unlike tattooing and scarring, where removal is impossible or leaves behind undesired scars. Some people change their body-look every week by Tumoring, sometimes even just for a night to dress up for costumed parties. These latest studies have forced the FDA to ban the reverse tumoring method leaving people stranded in the body they shaped by tumoring until they find another, safe way to reverse it.
Pictures of Tumoring body-looks:

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Fear of Arctic War Grows, Danish and Russian Fleets Clash – Copenhagen, 23 June 2017

Copenhagen has admitted Danish warships were responsible for the sinking of the Russian frigate Czar Putin in the Arctic Sea. The commander of the Danish Destroyer Prince Frederik declared the vessel was in Danish territorial waters off the coast of Greenland and had ignored multiple warnings. The Danish press release also stated it regretted the sinking of the ship and the loss of the Russian crew and that first shots were meant as deterrence only. Once the Russians started returning fire there was no other option than to target the ship itself, concluded the press release. Russian warships of the Northern Fleet are steaming up towards the area from bases all over Russia while the US is doing the same to come the aid of their Danish ally. The Canadian and Norwegian governments have not yet responded but are expected to support the Russian fleet in their effort as agreed upon by the Russo-Canadian Pact of 2015. The Arctic waters have been a region of tension ever since the rapid melting of the Arctic ice cap became a concern and an opportunity and the Ilulissat Declaration and more seriously after the failed Arctic Sea Summit of 2013. The region has been estimated to contain 25% of the remaining world supply of oil and natural gas. The UN and NATO are calling for a ceasefire and warn involved parties not to escalate the situation and go through the proper UN procedures to resolve the issue.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Government Admits Obesity Prevention Scandal - Washington DC, September 12 2012

Government officials in the White House today admitted their involvement in the “POOB” scam. The POOB (Portion-Obesity) scandal, named after the uncovering Surgeon General’s ” POOB memo” that was published in the New York Times three months ago, is now forcing more and more politicians and officials to resign and insiders think it may go all the way to the President. The POOB memo uncovered a Huxleyan plot to tamper with the official American version of the kilo when the US was forced to switch over to the metric system in early 2011. In a daring but improbable attempt to fight the obesity epidemic that is damaging the US economy and health care system the Surgeon General devised a scheme to decrease portion sizes by lowering the weight of the official kilo template used by food manufacturers by 10% hoping that during the metric switch-over the weight decrease of the kilo would go unnoticed if all parties involved started using the same “kilo’s”. Prison sentences are expected for the Surgeon General and other highly involved officials. Portion sizes have been identified as the main causes of obesity by many studies. People suffering from obesity and the Body Mass Index (BMI) of the average American have seen a decline of about 8% in the last year, the first time since the onset of obesity epidemic in the mid 1990’s.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Google Inc. Free Computer Program hits 5 Million – Mountain View, CA, April 17 2011

Google Inc, the uncontested leader in Internet services announced it has shipped its 5 millionth “free” computer, only 14 months after starting up the “Free Computer Program”. The Google Product Manager, Pierre Lindsely, stated he is overwhelmed by the success of his project and they are trying very hard to keep up with demand. People now have to wait more than three weeks to get their “G-Tops", as they have become known as, instead of the three days when the program started. Pierre Lindsely: “People will wait for anything if it’s free, so I am not worried that this will impact the enthusiasm for this product. We are attracting some new suppliers and we will see the waiting time decrease gradually.” The free Google computers come with a free broadband connection that connects only to Google WI-FI hubs (aka as G-Spots). This, in combination with the Google Operating System (GooGOS) allows Google to access every click performed on these machines and uniquely controls the advertisements that are displayed when using any application. Critics are baffled by the public’s casualness to open up their computers and sign away all their personal information to Google. Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer who ridiculed the program when it was announced, has since refused to comment on the blatant success of the product. Microsoft announced last week it will be offering free computers to the public within the next two months.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Giant Gourmet Steak Leaves 13 Dead, 72 Hospitalized – Anaconda, MT, July 20 2033

Adversaries of In Vitro Meat (IVM), or “Tube Meat” as it is listed under in the supermarkets, have been finally proven right by a gruesome bad-horror-movie-turned-reality in a small town in Idaho. One of ArtiMeat’s large truck size lab grown steak slabs developed the ability to move by contracting in a structured sequence. The giant muscular mass broke out of its incubator and out of the meat producing compound and went on a 3-hour rampage through the mid-size town of Anaconda, before the army could move and torch the mammoth gourmet steak with flame throwers, leaving 13 people dead, 72 seriously hospitalized and many buildings in ruins with millions in damage, reminiscent of old 1950’s horror B-movies like The Blob. Tube Meat has been around from the early 2010’s when the FDA approved the consumption of out-of-body meats in 2013 after a race between companies had been initiated by the PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) in 2008 by awarding a million dollars for the first company to bring Tube Meat to the market. Allegations that the meat was a health danger according to action groups heavily sponsored by cattle lobbyists have never been supported by studies. But the action groups now have ample ammunition to pursue their goal of banning Tube Meat. ArtiMeat is investigating what could have been the cause of turning the passive muscle mass into a moving havoc wreaking monster. John Slayer, a researcher at ArtiMeat said that the technical operations team has recorded a malfunction in the electric wiring of the incubator and this has made him suspect this resulted in a short circuit followed by electrocution of the monster steak making it start to contract and lead to its ruinous killing spree. In a rather ironic turn of events the small homeless population of Anaconda benefited from the incident. It gathered around the scene and started feasting upon the grilled monstrosity before the army could clear the area. One man’s death is another man’s dinner.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

"Human Cat Diet" Turns Out Disastrous For Felines – Atlantic City, June 7 2013

The "Human Cat Diet” also known as the “Feline Regime” that became the newest diet rage in 2009 and dwindled into oblivion after disappointing long term results in 2012, seems to have also created a nasty problem for many of our feline friends. The Human Cat Diet was introduced by Simon Calstone, Nutrition Specialist at Petnut Foods in late 2008 and popularized by Dr. Phil in his TV show. The diet tried to follow a cat’s ideal nutritional regime applied to humans, with the underlying theory that we have been carnivores much longer than the carb-craving techno-agriculturists we have turned into when agriculture took off more than 12000 years ago. The diet involved eating animal based dry pellets during the day and one “wet” meal in the evening and lots of water all day, mimicking the food pattern that keeps cats lean. The pellets and wet meals were similar to what cats get to eat but geared towards the nutritional needs of humans. The diet showed good results for most people in the first 6 months with people losing on average more than 30 pounds. But it seemed like it was too much to keep up as a structural food pattern and the repetition of the boring, bland food would make people abandon the efforts and typically result in a net gain weight from the start of the diet. A secondary effect of this once trendy diet seems to be starting to hit our feline population hard worldwide. Former Human Cat Dieters and cat owners have started overfeeding their cats out of pity for the small amount of food they feel their cats should be given according to veterinarian’s directions. Apparently cat owner and ex-feline dieters, after having experienced themselves how much their pet friends are fed, have started compensating for their own bad experience while dieting. Studies have showed an increase of cat-obesity of 72% in former cat diet followers and only 2% (the average yearly increase over the last ten years) in non-cat diet followers. The American American Veterinary Medical Association will start alerting people with e-mails and through local SPCA’s to bring awareness to the health dangers and medical costs that could result from overfeeding cats.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Gas/Food Price Rage: Ethanol Gas Stations Become Target of Arson Nationwide – Detroit, MI, April 15 2009

As food prices continue to rise, the poorest in the nation have started venting their frustration from coast to coast. Last night the tally was 17, the number indicating the amount of gas stations carrying ethanol that were burned to the ground by the mob. It is still an upward trend, last month 23 gas stations were targeted, in comparison to 52 already this month with yesterday being a new all day record. Before 2006 the plans to start biofuel production to diminish the US dependency on foreign oil were hailed from all sides, from the rich to the poor, from republicans to democrats, from hippies to CEO’s. The paradigm started to shift quickly as food prices began to rise. The Food vs. Fuel debate was ignited late 2007/early 2008 when bioethanol fuel production started getting blamed for the rising world food prices. Worldwide there have been demonstrations and outbreaks of violence from food shortages. The US had not been affected in this way until three months ago when the first bioethanol gas station was burned to the ground after a demonstration against biofuel production turned sour. The McCain administration says their hands are tied, as Iraq and Venezuela are threatening with an oil embargo that could bring the nation to its knees. President McCain stated: “We need all the fuel we can get to keep our infrastructure and transport system from collapsing. We realize people are having problems feeding their families, but we are trying all we can to make sure people get through these difficult times. Or we can give in to foreign pressure, abandon our biofuel program and hand our nation over to the oil producing nations today. It is either giving up our independence or tightening the belt.” Left wing groups keep stressing the fact that the Americans stubbornly keep driving SUV’s and other gas guzzling cars while the US is not in a position to fuel these types of vehicles and quoted once again from the World Development Report 2008: “The grain required to fill the tank of a sports utility vehicle with ethanol (240 kg of maize for 100 liter ethanol) could feed one person for a year, so competition between food and fuel is real.” The federal government is hiring bodyguards from Blackwater to start a gas station protection program

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

US Pays Off China Debt By Destroying 75% Of Nuclear Arsenal – Beijing, China, October 17 2018

In a rare turn of events the Alaska – China Debt Deal was wiped off the table and a new treaty was drafted and signed in the early morning. After it was clear that the US resistance against selling Alaska to China was beyond negotiation the US delegation had to draft a new proposal. China had made it clear that this meeting needed to have some results to be able to eliminate part of the US debt, under threat of an embargo against the US, which would have left the once powerful nation spiraling down into an even bigger financial chaos leading to more food shortages and grinding the nation to a halt. Not only does the treaty require the US to destroy 75% of their nuclear arsenal, but it also prohibits the US to aim nuclear war heads at the Asian continent any longer. Chinese inspectors under supervision of the UN will have full access to the remaining American nuclear sites to verify this part of the treaty.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Teenager Gets Fried in Electro-suit – Tokyo, Japan, January 10 2015

TechnoTraveller, the Tokyo company that was making furor on the stock markets for the last months has recalled all of its 12 million Electro-suits after a teenager was found dead in a Tokyo park. The unfortunate youngster’s solar electro-suit, while powering his laptop, cell phone, iZune and Thermo-sweater malfunctioned and directed all the sun-powered energy to the Thermo-sweater. Built-in feedback systems that should have prevented such an event did not work appropriately and the Thermo-sweater function will from now on be disabled in the product, a TechnoTraveller spokesperson declared in a company press bulletin. The company’s hot selling item was the driving force behind TechnoTraveller’s dethroning of Google as Wall Street’s darling finding a need for cheap power on the road to fuel all electronic portable devices and warming people in cold climates by using high-efficient solar fuel cells weaved into a suit. TechnoTraveller stocks plummeted by more than 55%. The press bulletin further stated that although the recall will decrease profits and losing the Thermo-sweater feature will impact sales, there is no need for panic by shareholders and the future of solar clothing is still looking bright. The Tokyo coroner performing the autopsy is still trying to establish whether the cause of death was sixth-degree burns or electrocution.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Spanking and "The Belt" Get Reinstated In 17 More States - Lincoln, Nebraska, November 19 2015

Six months after Texas reinstated spanking and giving children "The Belt" as disciplinary tools, 17 states have followed suit, including larger states like California and Virginia. The newly legalized forms of these ways of corporal punishment are very strictly defined in the “Spanking Bill” that has been passed by the Texas legislature early this year and has been adopted without amendments by the other states. Parents and teachers are required to take a 4 hour course to become certified to make use of these correctional educational methods. Only with this certification is it allowed to apply these ways of disciplining for:

  • Parents - only with their own children.

  • Teachers - only with their own students.

Anything outside these limitations or not following the strict guidelines set by the Spanking Bill will make people subject to the "Sally Lieber Law", as it has become known as, a federal law that got accepted in 2009 and evolved from fining people who were practicing spanking to an minimum sentence of 2 years in prison after amendments in 2010. States have been looking for ways to opt out of this law, especially after studies in 2011 showed that households were being disrupted by this law, with sometimes one, sometimes both parents having to spend time in jail resulting in a spiraling down effect for families towards poverty and in many cases "other" forms of crime. The certification course is fully booked in Texas for the coming two years and the state is looking for expansion of their program into many locations statewide to try and keep up with demand.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Antique, intact IKEA "Billy" bookcase sells for 10 billion dollar – London, England, April 5th 2123

Sotheby's in London was pleased to see an item change hands for 10 billion dollars. An anonymous bidder from China called in the final bid. He purchased a "faux wood" IKEA Billy bookcase in mint condition and still in its original boxes for the astonishing amount of a 1 with 10 zeros. In 2008, the same Billy would have sold for $ 59.99. The IKEA "Billy" line of bookcases was one of the best selling items when IKEA was the number one retailer in the world in the late 1990's and early part of the 21st Century. An estimated one in four households worldwide in 2031 was said to have one of these now extremely rare pieces of furniture. IKEA spiraled downwards in the second half of the 21st Century after trying to make the transition to all-plastic products after the UN All-plastic Resolution of 2143 forbade any company to make use of trees and plants in their products. Companies like PlastoFurn and SynthoDesign that were already geared towards all-plastic drove IKEA out of the market with amazing speed to its bankruptcy in 2087. In the early 2100's people started collecting IKEA furniture and products and collectors have been driving prices up dramatically to the insane level that was reached today.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Caffeinated Burger Turns Out To Be Bestseller - Brussels, Belgium, September 18 2011

Quick, the Belgian fast food chain, started in the 1980's to counter the exponential growth of US based franchise fast food restaurants in Belgium, announced today that their recently introduced 'Wake Up Giant', is their best selling breakfast item and their second best overall item after the classic Giant. A local owner of one of the no. 1 franchise restaurants in France and Belgium in downtown Lyon, said it was amazing to see sales levels this high so short after the introduction. People's first reactions to the new 'Slap in the Face Burger' as it has been marketed, was 'Gross!', 'Revolting!' and to the French 'American!' (an insult in itself in France). People rejected the seemingly impossible combination right out, afraid that it would taste horribly. Jean Dupuis, the Novelties Product Manager at the Quick Burger Gourmet Institute in Lyon, explained that the caffeine cannot be tasted in the burgers. He made clear the caffeine is encapsulated by fat beads in the burger through a patented method and could not reveal any of the chemical and technical details. 'Once the fat beads get dissolved by enzymes in the stomach, the caffeine is released and the "slap in the face effect" will kick in', according to Dupuis. The burgers contain triple the amount of a Starbucks regular medium coffee. In a response to the fact that this item seems to be replacing the "French as French can be" breakfast classic the croissant more and more, Dupuis stated: 'Hey, at least it is a European invention.' McDonald's has announced it will launch new breakfast items next month, insiders in the fast food industry think it will be an answer to Quick's new best seller.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Hamburger Gluttons Lose Favorite Spot - Orinda CA, March 3 2012

Last year's gold medal winner in the State of the Burger Award, Hanson's Honest Burgers, located in Downtown Orinda, was shut down by a FDA food inspector. Howard Hanson, the owner of the locally praised burger establishment was taken into custody by the Orinda PD. He was out on bail two hours later. A police official declared Hanson has been charged with acts of food poisoning and serving illegal substances. The health inspector declared he had been served hamburger patties that contained twice the amount of trans fat that can be served in restaurants. Hanson stated that this was a clear case of provocation by the food inspector as the food inspector specifically asked for "Nevada Style" beef. Hanson stated he always has a personal stash of Nevada Style import beef that he eats after his work is done. 'I hope people can still serve themselves what they want in this country', was his response as he was on his way to seek legal counseling and file a lawsuit against the California State Health Department. In the meanwhile the burger craving population of Orinda will have to live without their favorite burger.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Garbage Island Reaches Out to the World – Seoul, South Korea, April 25 2088

For the first time in its short history has the Great Pacific Garbage Patch reached out to the outside world for help. The island build on the huge patch of drifting garbage that gets collected by the North Pacific Gyre in the Pacific Ocean is running out of space. Not only running out of space to build on, but also space for agricultural and energy needs. Most of the food and energy supply is based on the square mileage of drift area available to algae and plankton to settle on the bottom side of the various forms of flotsam and jetsam that get tagged onto the island by the Pacific Trash Vortex. The algae and plankton get collected by the inhabitants and are used either for consumption or to fuel power plants along the continent. The "Continent Council", as the group of worried scientists that has started this initiative has named itself, has send a request to the governments of all the countries that make up the Pacific Rim to stop destroying and recycling their collected waste but to simply dump it into the sea to help grow the island's size and in particular its sea-facing surface. Several countries, including South Korea and New Zealand have shown an interest into this opportunity to rethink their method of national waste management. The United Nations Environment Programme (UNEP) has declared this is totally unacceptable and the damage to the Pacific Ocean's fragile environment could be disastrous. They are drawing up a resolution to block the proposed change of waste disposals in these interested countries and to see what measures could be taken to take actions against the small continent to make them retract their potentially damaging request. Garbage Island hasn't recognized any outside authority as of yet, including the United Nations, that on their part has officially recognized it as a continent in 2043. The UN declared that the continent reaching out to nations that are part of the UN has ended their status aparte as a rogue continent and will force them to become part of the family of nations that make up this world. All the countries that have shown an interest in 'helping out' and honoring this request outsource their waste management to poorer countries and is costing them a considerable part of their yearly budget. ----> Previous Post

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