Series of WalMart Bombings Claimed by Barbie Liberation Organization Splinter Group - Houston, TX, April 27 2013

Another explosion ripped through a WalMart store in Houston last night, killing 27 and wounding at least 250. The FBI declared the bombings have been claimed by The Barbie Liberation Organization Now Destructive (BLOND) in an untraceable e-mail with demands to free the imprisoned former leader of The Barbie Liberation Organization (BLO), Barbie Sandrine and make Mattel restart their production of Barbie dolls. BLOND seems to be a splinter group that has separated itself from BLO and has turned to violence to try achieve its goals. BLO leader Barbie Sandrine was imprisoned early this year after throwing shoes at the Iraqi President Muntader al-Zaidi when he visited the US to draw attention to her cause, embarrassing the nation internationally. BLO has been active with non-violent demonstrations and actions since Mattel stopped its production after WalMart declared in 2011 it would no longer carry the famed dolls after studies had showed a direct link between kids who were exposed to the dolls and eating disorders.

McDonald's "Incredible" Popularity Reveals Rigged Portion Size Scanners - Des Plaines, Ill, November 12 2017

Des Plaines PD have arrested several high ranking managers, including the CEO and CFO and several board members at the corporate headquarters of McDonald's. In an era where most fast-food franchises are struggling and many of them have gone under resulting from the enforced installation of Portion-Size Scanners (PSS) in all fast-food operations by the Meal Size Reduction Act, people have always wondered what the special "ingredient" was that has been maintaining McDonald's growth while others had to downsize or even go belly-up (BK, In-N-Out). The special Nutrition Investigation Task Force (NITF) of the FBI declared to have been leading up to this bust for several months when one of their investigators followed up on a CDC study that showed that regular McDonald's visitors were significantly heavier than control groups (regular KFC, DQ and Jack in the Box visitors). His investigation started pointing to the PSS machines at McDonald's restaurants around the country to explain how people still got fatter after being fully "portionated". A spokesman of NITF stated that the PSS machines, that read how much you can individually be served (calculated by Body Mass Index, blood sugar and fat percentage tracked by a subcutaneous nano-analyzer), showed to have been systematically tempered with at McDonald's to serve more than 25% more than the FDA's allowed portions, thereby explaining the popularity and success of the fast-food chain. Ronald McDonald will have a lot of explaining to do as to why portions will be downsized for their customers.

US Sits On Top Of Largest Oil Reserve – London, England, May 12 2083

The discovery of a deep-oil reserve in Wyoming last week has been estimated to be the largest oil reserve on the planet. According to oil specialists from OPEC, the reserve is twice the size of the currently known oil reserves worldwide. The White House said it was excited and said it would put the US back on the map as a world power after dropping to the 17th place on the world gross domestic list just behind the Netherlands at the end of 2082. Iranian, Russian and Chinese oil companies are lining up to acquire the lucrative contract to exploit the new black gold reserves. The US will without doubt need outside help from leading oil producing countries to finance and organize this massive oil drilling effort.

Scientist Disappears While Working on Large Hadron Collider at CERN – Geneva, 19 August 2011

One of the team members of the research group that is working with the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) was reported missing in action this morning in a press bulletin issued this morning by the CERN press office in Geneva. Security officials stated that it is impossible that he would have been able to leave the facility without leaving any records: "He should still be in the building, but he isn’t." The researcher was working on the creation of Micro Black Holes and the Higgs Boson (AKA as the "God Particle").

First "Living" Head To Turn One Hundred - Nagasaki, March 7 2233

Samo Nagai's head, or 'Jarhead' as the brain of Samo Nagai has become known as in the media, will celebrate its 100th this coming March 10. The Tokio Eternal Life Company prefers their clients to be called just by their name, claiming that they never died and therefore seeing no reason to refer to them by just one part of their body. The company will celebrate 'Samo Nagai's' 186th birthday (Samo Nagai "died" at age 86) with a large celebration event in Tokio's City Center. The Eternal Life Company boasts to have 1123812 people (or heads, if you like) on extended life support until medical science discovers ways to provide these people with a full functioning body. While the company has been mostly a success story there have been downfalls and controversies as well, amongst them the suicide bomb attempt by the Christian group 'Sacred Life' on one of Eternal Life's laboratories and the unexplained seemingly spontaneous life termination of some of Eternal Life's clients. Critics have demonstrated that statistically more spontaneous 'terminations' have been taking place after the company was forced by a court order to stop ending 'services' for clients that had used up all their credit. Eternal Life's reply has always been that because they have to keep supplying services for non-paying clients it has been harder for them to give an A+ service to all their clients resulting in an increase of service terminations. Critics claim 83 percent of terminations concerned clients that have run out of credit. Brain life support is still gaining popularity over Cryonics as a way to extend people's lives to eventually seek eternal life.

Virtual Serial Rapist Gets Sentenced to Death IRL – Portland, Or, June 17 2042

Virtual serial rapist Nathan Guberman, also known as FluffyBunny on GetALife, the popular virtual world, has been sentenced to death IRL (in real life) by a Portland judge. It is the first time somebody has been sentenced to death for a cybercrime. Victims have declared they are happy with this outcome. Judge Melvin Brookland stated that most of the (7023) victims were spending on average more than 85% in this virtual world and therefore their virtual life was seen as their "dominant" life. Nathan Guberman was spending more than 95% percent of this time on GetALife and his actions on GetALife were concluded to be "real" by psychologists and health specialists and therefore legally valid IRL. It took a federal cyber taskforce more than 14 months to track down and arrest Nathan Guberman. His avatar, FluffyBunny had been sentenced to death and lynched virtually two months after his arrest by GetALife virtual judge Castor Dredd. Guberman declared after the sentence IRL that he was dead already anyway after the lynching of his avatar, killing off his body was just a formality.

Geoengineering Gone Wrong: UN Finally Admits Responsibility – New York, NY, June 25 2028

After months of criticism from environmental groups and nations the Volcanic Winter Experiment has now been officially declared a failure and disaster by the UN environmental commission. 5 years after the UN orchestrated nuclear explosion set off a volcanic eruption of El Chichón in Mexico to spread sulfate aerosols into the stratosphere to cool down the Earth, world-wide famine, a higher rate of global warming than ever before and record size holes in the ozone layer, the UN has finally admitted responsibility for the blunder and for the first time in the planet’s history declared the Earth as a whole a disaster area. More and more countries are breaking with the United Nations trying to cope individually with the economical and environmental effects of the aftermath of this experiment gone bad, including most members of UniAm, China, Russia and several EU countries. Mexico is by far suffering the most from the experiment, having volunteered to host the experiment in the state of Chiapas. The country is not receiving any of the promised compensation for letting the experiment take place on their soil, with the UN bankrupt, world food supplies drained and food shortages increasing rapidly on an apocalyptic scale. Mexico is in total ruins with agricultural lands turning into deserts after not having produced any crops during the volcanic winter years. Mexico City is turning into the first global ghost metropolis after the US Border Fence was overrun by an exodus of millions fleeing the aftermath of the manmade catastrophe in search for food. The UN says it has postponed any planned geoengineering programs until further notice and is working on a global rescue plan to fix the world’s environmental and economic problems that have resulted from this cataclysm. Some scientists criticize the UN’s approach claiming that geoengineering is the only solution to stop this catastrophic downward spiral the Earth is in. Russia is considering unilaterally launching a series of orchestrated nuclear explosions in low population areas to create a long lasting nuclear winter to cool down the planet.